So today I took a look in my Spam folder and realised all the amazing things that I have been missing.
Well, it seems that my anti-virus protection is about to expire and I must act with urgency. Not just McAffee but also Norton, AV 2025 and Virtual Shield. Strange them all expiring at the same time.
Also, alarmingly, my iCloud account is going to close and I have to remove all my videos and photos today or I will lose them all – or I could just click on a link.
On a more positive note, I have won both an AA and an RAC Emergency kit, as well as a free Boots Medicare kit. So I appear to have emergencies well covered.
I have also won a Black and Decker cordless drill set from B&Q. The email starts… Congratulations [Username]. Not to be beaten by B&Q, Homebase are going to send me a De Walt back pack, Hyundai a tire compressor and Wickes a Makito Combo, whatever that is.
On a similar vein I have also been offered a Yeti Crossroads backpack from Mountain Warehouse and a Cadbury selection box. Just click on a link and they will be mine.
I seem to have received a lot of Christmas offers this January. As a loyal People’s Postcode Lottery customer, I could win £100,000 on a scratchcard but the offer expired on 24th December.
Shein Winner has been trying to contact me. I have been chosen to receive a Shein minibox Fashion gift box. All I have to do is complete a 2-minute survey. I have also been chosen to participate in the L’Oriel loyalty programme and they are going to send me a La Provençale Bio Advent calendar if I tell them what I think.
I could also receive 60% off Neebu foot patches, should I need foot patches, and 50% off a heated scarf and night time driving sunglasses.
For just £99 I can get a Smart Energy Unit that will save me 92% of my energy costs without changing any of my habits. Amazing! If I don’t fancy that I can get Elon Musk’s new energy saving invention. E Saver Watt will save me wasting money on dirty unstable electricity.
It’s a shame that I was not home to receive my DHL parcel. I just need to click on a link and send them my address and reconfirm my parcel shipping and they will send it to me. The offer expires in 5:00. It seems that FedEx and UPS had the same problem.
Apparently, my pee muscle isn’t being triggered and I just need to click on a link to get it sorted. Strengthening this muscle has already helped 43,324 men pee like a firehose again. Alternatively, I can get rock solid performance from nature’s Viagra which has helped 30,000 men and their partners.
I might need that because Liliane Wallace wants to talk to me again. Apparently, our last conversation was so interesting. Liliane is 49 and likes to make the most of every day and settle down with a good book. Alyssa Edwards also wrote to me. She is also 49 and likes to make the most of every day and settle down with a good book. She must be a twin sister of Liliane as she has the same photo.
I can get 500 free bonus spins after I give Dr Spins my first deposit. Spinland, Gransino casino and 30Bet also want to give me free spins. If I ever need any spins, I will certainly have lots of choice.
It’s also good to know that I can get my money back if I got taken in by a Holiday club scam. Heaven forbit that I should be taken in by a scam!
So, this is the other life that I could be living. I’ve been missing so much – who knew?